End of a Saga...
I'm leaving Blogspot. I will always have this link to this looovely part of my teenage life but I find this isn't what I want.

Livejournal... much better!

Lol Well surely feel free to visit my livejournal account.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/leebeewilly


Please don't forget, live life and love every moment.

Sweet and sour.


Happy Hunting.
- posted by LeeBee @ 10:25 PM

 
HOLY CRAP! It's the end of a Saga!
HOLY CRAP!!!

Just to reitterate. HOLY CRAP!!! It's been a WHILE since I've been on here, and Well that kinda sucks.

Life, as you can all assume (my failthful readers >.<') has been 'blah'.

So much has happened between well november and now that I don't know what to comment on.
I'm going to University! WEEEEEE!!!!!!

Those who do know me, already know this much.
But really, life's starting to calm down. I think I'm fading from your typical teen stage and moving on to the 'moderately responsible post adolescence' stage.
Moderately repsonsible...

I've been roleplaying alot, which is always good for the soul. Gets the hopeless romantic tendencies out of the system for a short while, but as always the big bitch rears her head making the lonely come back.

Simon and I are finished. Long done, which makes me sad but it's a part of life.
He woudl still like to be friends, and in my hopes of getting over the whole 'fall in love with the unattainable' I'm trying to.
Though not very hard mind you.

I find that Love, well what I think love is, really isn't LOVE. I fall for people but I don't know if I've been in love. You always hear, 'you know when you're in love. You just know.'
Well I don't think I know because I was constantly second guessing myself and my feelings. I liked the idea of loving Simon, and I know I still have some reminiscent feelings for him.

But Lisa needs to move on. Lisa needs to find herself and stop living to 'be' with another person. I don't need a man to be happy, well or women either.

I just need me.

As always I start babbling but this time I think it's the good kind of bable.
ButMother dearest just arrived so alas, I must go.

I think my teen's are somewhat over now, though I remain in the last year of an ending saga.

No more Frustrations of a Teen.

Just Life this time.


So I guess I'll see you in Life sometime.


Sicnerely, and forever yours, Lisa.







Oh and of course,
Happy Hunting.
- posted by LeeBee @ 5:42 PM

 
Ahh, C'est la Vie! Version 1.2
Well once again I've been lazy as of late, lacking in the posting and the speaking of my life. Not too much has changed really, juts my views and goals.
I think I'lll give you an update, the 1.2 version of Me!
I've decided what I'm going to do with my life. Again you say? Of course! I'm indecisive but I think I've made some sort of descision.
History and Writing. My passions. I think I'll learn them and see where they take me for the next while. University choice still up in the air, but I'm getting there ><'
The cool thing is that I might be moving into an apartment with two of my friends! It's pretty cool, and I think it will be the best thing for me for the next while.
We're gonna move into a 3 bedroom apartment for 1200/month. 400$ each so I think I'm getting a good deal. If I do this I will be going to a university in the area which solevs another problem. So Yeah!
Ummmm, what else.....oh yeah! Simon.
I've 'met', if you can really all it that yet, but I've 'met' this guy named Simon. He's Irish. He's sweet, goofy, funny, all the right things. And you know what-he makes me smile. I don't have to be something I'm not, I'm just me-Though it is online- but I'm still just me and well, that makes me happy to!
He's coming to Canada. For personal reasons, and to sorta see me. I guess I'm just the 'perk' of the arrangement but I dunno, there's something so romantic and classic about meeting him. I think we've become really close, and what sucks is I've only told a few friends about it. I guess in a way I don't want them to try and stop me from seeing him-I'm determined to meet Simon and I know my friends have a pretty good hold on me in some aspects and I really dont' want to loose someone like him that I have such a connectiong with.
What's really nice is I need someone like him in my life. Preferrably more than a friend, but even if it doesn't work that way-I think he's the kinda person I'll know for the rest of my life. I'd ask if you'd think that was creepy, but at this point what others think doesn't matter. It's what he and I think, and we think it's a-o-k!

Well I'm blabbering....as usuall, an knowing me I'll send him my blogspot and he'll read all my mishaps and such for the next while. ...but I have to admit-the accent is sexy!

Hehe, well take care and
Happy Hunting.

- posted by LeeBee @ 1:55 PM

 
"Use love with caution. Persons who do not know the meaning of life should use with Parental supervision."
Everyone listens to music. Everyone listens to songs, and sing the lyrics, many people memorize them, but how many people understand them? How many people look at them and see the actual 'meaning' of the words.
Well I was just sitting here, having nothing particularily interesting to do when I thought about this song I'd been listening to for the last few days. Nothing really special about the song, it's a duet, really pretty-so then me being the thinker(bad lisa!) I look at the lyrics.
"From this day on...
I'm certain that I'll never be alone
I know what my heart must have always known...
That love has a power that's all it's own"

That Love has a power thats all it's own. Something about that made me, the pesimist, think twice. The song is about two lovers, who obviously can't be together, two people who will still love one another though they can't be together.
But what has the heart always known about love's power?? I think the heart knows how strong love is, how good it can make you feel but also how easily it can ruin a life.
Love is Power.
And with power comes responsiblity. We've all heard that one before, thanks to my personal friend Mr. Tolkien, so that leads me to my next question-when has love ever been held accountable for the terrible things it's caused? Since when has love ever been said to carry responsibility? Everyone thinks love is this amazing thing, this life long goal that once you attain the world is all well, but I dont' think so.
Love should come with a warning label: "Use love with caution. Persons who do not know the meaning of life should use with Parental supervision."
I mean honestly, all these agencies, religions, fads, promote "Love" as this perfect thing.
It destroys people.
Now I know what your probably thinking 'Wtf Lisa, Love's a part of life." and yes, I agree, Love is a very important part of life. All I'm saying is that it should be approached with caution.
"Love like you'll never be hurt." But you will be!! Love will always equal pain and suffering and sadness.
Yet somethings in the world will always equal pain, suffering and sadness.
Power is like that, hence Love is Power.

But I'm just your average love scorned woman, well teen-sorta. But I digress.
Just be careful, is what I think I'm trying to say. Just be careful.

Happy hunting, and I swear to you the body under the bed was there before Jimmy went missing. I swear! ;)


- posted by LeeBee @ 3:25 PM

 
Somethings gotta give
It's that time of year. Time to start again, start fresh, start a living nightmere that is HIGH SCHOOL.
Yes thats right kiddies, I'm back in high school for my 'victory lap'. Don't get me wrong ladies and gents, I graduated, buuuut to get into lovely university I need to take some courses that make my head spin.
But along with school comes the realization of what's next.
Growing up.
I mean the real stuff. Looking around your classes realizing you don't seea single friend in sight, and knowing that even without the moral hooplay you're used to from your buds you're still there, still trying and still living.
Yet thats not the only thing on my mind these days. Well this day, seeing as school really just started today, but moving on.
At first I was thinking about myself and my lack of beautiful physical appearence. Or to be blunt, I'm fat. I don't like being fat, but I do very little about myself being fat. And last night, as I put on my outftit I was to wear the next day I realised, somethings gotta give.
Something has got to change. And that something is me.

"Look today
Look hard.
See today
See it's hard
Do today,
Do whats hard
Look today,
Look everyday."
L.G.Wilson
This is whats going to change. I'm going to look everyday, see everything and do what I must to be happy.
That doesn't mean a size two with ballemia, that means a size 16w with a smile.
I don't want to have to shop with my mom and see her almost cry.
I don't want to have to shop in the 'plus' section at Walmart because I can't fit into anything else.
And I don't want to look in the mirror and wish I was someone else.
Because I shouldn't have to want to be someone else, I'm good, in fact I'm a great person. I may not be a Princess Di, or a Brittney Spears, or an Avril Lavigne. I don't need to be them, or anyone else to know I'm a good person.
I have reasons and proof I'm a good person. I have friends that care about me, I have famliy that loves me and I do have enemies that loath me. Without those enemies I wouldn't be able to be good enough to my friends and famliy to appreciate them when they're around.
So something has got to give, something is giving and when it gives way I'll be ready to be me. Plain old bossy, know-it-all, perfectionist with horney and morbid tendencies Lisa-Marie.
Just Lisa-Marie.
But with a smile.
I'll do whats hard. I'll start today, I'll do it tomorrow, and I'll continue everyday, even when the smile won't go away.

Look today.

Look everyday.


But here is my question to you, the reader, the listener or my tales.Do you need to look?

Happy Hunting.

- posted by LeeBee @ 10:04 PM

 
"I stand Alone and Strong"
Life's funny sometimes. You get dealt good hands, bad ones, and ones you need a partner to help you through with. I've been a bit nastalgic lately, don't really know why, but I've been taking a bit of time to look back and 'try', emphasis on try, to figure some things out.

Not too long ago I did something very selfish. A good friend of mine, Amanda S. and I seemed to stop talking to one another. I don't know why, and I wish it hadn't happened cuz I felt terrible, but for some reason I couldn't go and talk to her about it.
Even now I still don't know what 'it' was that was bothering me so much. But me and my pride will never let me actually say something to her. Maybe she'll read this and it'll make some sence, so I don't have to. But the kicker is, she's going away for university now. Far away. And the last few weeks I'd get to spend with one of my best friends I spent avoiding her, cuz well I guess I'm a bad person.

I've been thinking about things lately. Stuff like, am I doing the right thing with my life? I've always been head to head with most of my friends, and now everyone's a head of me. Everyone was soo ready for university and college, but when it came down to it I was soo unsure.
I'm staying behind another year of high school. Oh I've graduated, and I would have been accepted to many different universities for my marks in english, music and history. But I'm not going. I think I'm stalling. I think maybe this year is just delaying the fact that I'm scared. Scared if going away and leaving everything I know and hold strong behind.

I've been thinking about alot lately. Like what will happen if I ever grow up. I don't want to, because then I'll have to deal with things. Just like I can't deal with Amanda, I can't deal with life in general. I'm always trying to escape life and be something I'm not. I've never been happy with myself, it's no secret, but it's getting to the point where I'm affecting others with my scared avoiding techniques. Haha.
Always a dreamer.

But I have been thinking. Its time for me to grow up, to change and be stronger. I was talking to a friend about high school and I came across something I think that maybe I should start living by,

"I stand alone and strong."
And I do stand alone, and now I will be strong.

Happy Hunting.

- posted by LeeBee @ 5:39 PM

 
Epiphany
I have had my epiphany of the summer. I have finally come to terms with the fact that the feelings I have for Adam are NOT returned. But I had believed that this would be harder to accept than it really is. I'm not attractive, so theregoes the part where he falls for me-so if I logically look at my scenario I had no chance in hell! But really I'm ok with it. I've decided that well I need a new obsession in my life, don't know what it'll be but I certainly do need a new obsession.
I had a friend ask me one time, completely off topic from my new obsession, but he asked me" What do you like about Adam?". I was almost completely stumped. I couldn't really think of anything positive that I liked about him(or do like) other than one tiny ity-bit of information that to Adam and the rest of the world wouldn't have matterd; made me smile.
Now you might think, make Lisa smile-Thats reaaaaaaaaally easy! Just Say Thong and she's out for the count. But its a differnt kind of smile. Just thinking about him, just having him look at me, or just talking about him made and stil does make me smile. I feel sad that he doesn't feel the same way but this is life. No one is ever going to love me the way I love them-NO ONE. But maybe it's about just being happy-not perfect, in love, in lust, in sex, just in Happy.
Well there I go again, being the girl who likes to get lost in her epiphanies! Well at least there foods good.
Take care, and I hope that one day-Once upon a non-existing plain of existance-I fall 'in Happy' with not only myself, but someone else-and my epiphany!
Happy hunting, and don't shoot the rabbit-it's not the rabbit fault your dead, I swear!
- posted by LeeBee @ 10:12 PM